I did not anticipate writing another post so soon. I'm sure you, dear readers, did not think you would be hearing from me again so promptly. I hadn't planned on writing this one, but news have motivated me to do so. What follows is my best attempt to grapple with a recent loss.
Death is inescapable. There are none of us who can hope to avoid its grasp before long. We hope, however, that we have enough time before that happens. Time to love and be loved. Time to contribute or consume. Time, we crave it. And for most of us, we will get what we desire so greatly. Others are not so lucky.
We all know someone who died too young. Some are fortunate enough to live to middle age. Others are the unfortunate ones who die before they can even reach that age. The ones we lose to a slow disease we are glad to know their suffering has ended. The ones we lose abruptly we hope they didn't suffer. We are left with the memories of time spent together, of the good times and the bad. There is the inescapable longing to have more of those memories, but it's not to be.
You may be wondering as to the reason for this frankly depressing post, and I will tell you. Only a few days ago, a friend of mine, Jillian Graczyk, died. She was 22. We weren't the best of friends. We didn't stay up late painting each others' nails and talking about boys, but I saw a lot of Jill during my last couple of years at college. That time is the reason I feel the need to write this.
I could describe Jill so that those of you reading could get some picture of just how wonderful she was, but it wouldn't do her justice. I could tell you a story that would make you laugh and think that I was lucky to have known her, but again, it wouldn't give you even a modicum of what she was really like. That's just how life is. We meet people that are good friends and we make those memories, memories that may one day fade. However, we will always have that feeling we get when our thoughts turn to that person, that warmth, that satisfaction of knowing "this person is great and I feel special because they have chosen to spend some of their time with me." It could be someone you met in school, it could be your spouse, but we all have people like that in our lives.
Jill left this world too soon, as so many do. We all think of how unfair it is that someone so young and vibrant is taken from us, but we also think that we were fortunate to have met them. We will remember them as being a good person and brightening our lives with their presence, for making our world a little better. Isn't that how we all want our lives remembered? Don't we all want to be remembered as that person who made the lives of others a little bit better, a little bit brighter?
What I've come to appreciate is that death can be a great motivator. I have spent a bit of time aimlessly passing my time, not sure of how to deal with the death of someone who had been a friend. Whether it is better or not, I am far removed from the community of family and friends that mourn her together. I will not be able to go to her funeral. But that doesn't mean that her memory is any less moving. If her brief time on this earth was enough to improve the lives of so many, then what will my life be? Will I wallow in the despair knowing that I could be taken at any moment, or will I do my utmost to enjoy the time I have and make my life a positive force in this world? I only hope that this motivation by her memory won't fade as the time since her death increases. I hope that her influence on my life will stay with me for the rest of my day, no matter how large or small the number.
Jill, I know I speak not only for myself when I describe this sentiment. There are many people who knew you better than I did, and I cannot begin to fathom the depth of their loss. The one thing I do know is that we will always remember that feeling at your memory, that warmth, that glow. I will forever consider myself as one of the most fortunate to have known you.
Dear readers, I should know better than to tell you to do something, but I'm going to do it anyway. We all have people that we lose too soon. Their deaths affect us all in different ways. What I think we all can agree on is that their time with us made our lives better, however briefly. I want to ask you all to think of those whom you have lost and use their memory as a reminder that our lives extend far beyond ourselves. Let's all remember those whom we have loved and lost, and let's use their memory to make this world a little better. I can't think of any better way to honor their memory.
Death is inescapable. There are none of us who can hope to avoid its grasp before long. We hope, however, that we have enough time before that happens. Time to love and be loved. Time to contribute or consume. Time, we crave it. And for most of us, we will get what we desire so greatly. Others are not so lucky.
We all know someone who died too young. Some are fortunate enough to live to middle age. Others are the unfortunate ones who die before they can even reach that age. The ones we lose to a slow disease we are glad to know their suffering has ended. The ones we lose abruptly we hope they didn't suffer. We are left with the memories of time spent together, of the good times and the bad. There is the inescapable longing to have more of those memories, but it's not to be.
You may be wondering as to the reason for this frankly depressing post, and I will tell you. Only a few days ago, a friend of mine, Jillian Graczyk, died. She was 22. We weren't the best of friends. We didn't stay up late painting each others' nails and talking about boys, but I saw a lot of Jill during my last couple of years at college. That time is the reason I feel the need to write this.
I could describe Jill so that those of you reading could get some picture of just how wonderful she was, but it wouldn't do her justice. I could tell you a story that would make you laugh and think that I was lucky to have known her, but again, it wouldn't give you even a modicum of what she was really like. That's just how life is. We meet people that are good friends and we make those memories, memories that may one day fade. However, we will always have that feeling we get when our thoughts turn to that person, that warmth, that satisfaction of knowing "this person is great and I feel special because they have chosen to spend some of their time with me." It could be someone you met in school, it could be your spouse, but we all have people like that in our lives.
Jill left this world too soon, as so many do. We all think of how unfair it is that someone so young and vibrant is taken from us, but we also think that we were fortunate to have met them. We will remember them as being a good person and brightening our lives with their presence, for making our world a little better. Isn't that how we all want our lives remembered? Don't we all want to be remembered as that person who made the lives of others a little bit better, a little bit brighter?
What I've come to appreciate is that death can be a great motivator. I have spent a bit of time aimlessly passing my time, not sure of how to deal with the death of someone who had been a friend. Whether it is better or not, I am far removed from the community of family and friends that mourn her together. I will not be able to go to her funeral. But that doesn't mean that her memory is any less moving. If her brief time on this earth was enough to improve the lives of so many, then what will my life be? Will I wallow in the despair knowing that I could be taken at any moment, or will I do my utmost to enjoy the time I have and make my life a positive force in this world? I only hope that this motivation by her memory won't fade as the time since her death increases. I hope that her influence on my life will stay with me for the rest of my day, no matter how large or small the number.
Jill, I know I speak not only for myself when I describe this sentiment. There are many people who knew you better than I did, and I cannot begin to fathom the depth of their loss. The one thing I do know is that we will always remember that feeling at your memory, that warmth, that glow. I will forever consider myself as one of the most fortunate to have known you.
Dear readers, I should know better than to tell you to do something, but I'm going to do it anyway. We all have people that we lose too soon. Their deaths affect us all in different ways. What I think we all can agree on is that their time with us made our lives better, however briefly. I want to ask you all to think of those whom you have lost and use their memory as a reminder that our lives extend far beyond ourselves. Let's all remember those whom we have loved and lost, and let's use their memory to make this world a little better. I can't think of any better way to honor their memory.